I'm not politically active because it's fun. It isn't fun to phone bank and to be yelled at and talked down to and hung up on. It isn't fun to talk with people who are on their last leg, ready to give up on society. It sucks that people just know you as the politics guy, when you AREN’T just the politics guy. When you grew up watching cartoons and playing video games like they did. When you become synonymous with political action and an overabundance of political knowledge, it makes you sad. You wonder if people realize that you had always wanted to be a musician, or had wanted to sing in a band. Did people know you were trying to write a book? A FICTION book? Did they know you were a hopeless romantic who went to sleep every night with a broken heart because you were all alone. Because every relationship you’d ever been in had been a failure and you couldn’t see why you weren’t in one now?
I think when people start to see you as ‘the politics guy’ they dehumanize you. They forget to wonder how emotional you are, or how much you care, even about little things, or people you hardly know. But maybe the people who know you use that as a safety mechanism. They don’t like people like you, they call you OVERLY emotional, TOO sensitive. Some call you weak, clingy and obsessive. You don’t understand and you don’t try to. You just want the entirety of humanity to love you as much as you cherish it.
Instead you sit alone at night and you think of all the people out there. Having fun and living their lives. They think you’re ‘the politics guy’. They don’t see what’s written in the pages of your journals, they don’t see what books you hide under your copy of The Constitution. They don’t look, they don’t ask.
You start to figure that they don’t care.
You start to wonder if you can blame them.
I dedicate this to every girl I could never talk to.
To every girl who wouldn’t have given me the time of day.
To every guy I could never understand.
And to everyone who couldn’t understand me.
- Alexander Thrasher
"Those that dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake in the day to find that all was vanity, but the dreamers of the day, are dangerous men, for they may act out their dreams and make them real."