Poem #4

You try to sit in silence,

You ache for what you don’t have,

You dare not ask for any more than you’re given.

Bite your tongue,

Don’t seem ungrateful,

Don’t seem unthankful.

Sit in silence,

Try to smile,

Try to seem appreciative,

Smother the ache in your heart,

Dull your desire,

You don’t need more than you’re given,

You need less than you want.

Stop wanting,

Stop needing,

Kill the small child in you,

The one who never quits crying.

Decapitate him to dry the tears,

Behead him to mute his dry sob,

Use death to chase away all his fears.

You’ll be better without him,

Stronger,

You’ll long for less,

You’ll need little.

So sit in silence,

So kill all that you are,

So forget who you were,

Accept what you are given,

Desire no more,

Accept no less.

Sit.

Breathe.

In.

Out.

That’s it,

Easy does it,

Silence,

An empty smile,

A shallow eye.

Content derived from being accustomed,

Accustomed to starving yourself,

Your mind,

Your heart,

Your weak, godless, pathetic little soul.

You’re empty now.

“How does it feel?”

You don’t know what to say.

“Good.” You lie.

“Of course it does, it’s supposed to.” They smile as they smother you in their inattention.

They don’t care about you,

Because they don’t need you,

And someone once reminded you,

No one NEEDS you, no one ever will.

This shatters you,

It breaks you,

It destroys all you are,

And what can you say?

How do you counter?

Loud silence,

Silent tears.

All your fears come true,

And you’re trapped in a darkness you can’t escape,

A hell you cannot avoid.

You need too much from a world that doesn’t need you.

How does it make you feel?

Does it make you cry at night?

Does it make you sit alone in the dark?

Are you alone?

Do you feel alone?

Mommy and daddy don’t need you,

Brother and sister don’t need you,

Teacher and preacher don’t need you,

NO ONE WILL EVER NEED YOU!

So don’t cry,

So don’t pout,

Just sit,

Smile,

And shut THE FUCK UP!

They need cigarettes and beer and sex and drugs,

They need porn and comedy and tits and abs,

They need million calorie burgers,

And they need diet pills,

They need muscle relaxers and protein shakes,

But they don’t need you,

Never, ever, will they need you.

So don’t dare,

Ever think they care,

They hate and despise you,

Want to drown you,

Forget you,

Erase you,

Never need you,

EVER!!!!!

"Those that dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake in the day to find that all was vanity, but the dreamers of the day, are dangerous men, for they may act out their dreams and make them real."