I Admire You

I admire you - your lights and the way

they shine. Look at the electric beauty.

What is the expense? What are you doing?

Killing your Mother, so that you may live.

I admire you - your buildings and the

way they stand. Oh so tall and oh so proud.

But in your streets your brothers and sisters

are killing each other killing themselves.

I admire you - your roads and the way

they wind out and pave adventures to take.

But where you go, trees used to stand and fields

used to grow. Now they’re dead and forgotten.

I admire you - your killing power.

I admire you, with your apathy.

Poem #4

You try to sit in silence,

You ache for what you don’t have,

You dare not ask for any more than you’re given.

Bite your tongue,

Don’t seem ungrateful,

Don’t seem unthankful.

Sit in silence,

Try to smile,

Try to seem appreciative,

Smother the ache in your heart,

Dull your desire,

You don’t need more than you’re given,

You need less than you want.

Stop wanting,

Stop needing,

Kill the small child in you,

The one who never quits crying.

Decapitate him to dry the tears,

Behead him to mute his dry sob,

Use death to chase away all his fears.

You’ll be better without him,

Stronger,

You’ll long for less,

You’ll need little.

So sit in silence,

So kill all that you are,

So forget who you were,

Accept what you are given,

Desire no more,

Accept no less.

Sit.

Breathe.

In.

Out.

That’s it,

Easy does it,

Silence,

An empty smile,

A shallow eye.

Content derived from being accustomed,

Accustomed to starving yourself,

Your mind,

Your heart,

Your weak, godless, pathetic little soul.

You’re empty now.

“How does it feel?”

You don’t know what to say.

“Good.” You lie.

“Of course it does, it’s supposed to.” They smile as they smother you in their inattention.

They don’t care about you,

Because they don’t need you,

And someone once reminded you,

No one NEEDS you, no one ever will.

This shatters you,

It breaks you,

It destroys all you are,

And what can you say?

How do you counter?

Loud silence,

Silent tears.

All your fears come true,

And you’re trapped in a darkness you can’t escape,

A hell you cannot avoid.

You need too much from a world that doesn’t need you.

How does it make you feel?

Does it make you cry at night?

Does it make you sit alone in the dark?

Are you alone?

Do you feel alone?

Mommy and daddy don’t need you,

Brother and sister don’t need you,

Teacher and preacher don’t need you,

NO ONE WILL EVER NEED YOU!

So don’t cry,

So don’t pout,

Just sit,

Smile,

And shut THE FUCK UP!

They need cigarettes and beer and sex and drugs,

They need porn and comedy and tits and abs,

They need million calorie burgers,

And they need diet pills,

They need muscle relaxers and protein shakes,

But they don’t need you,

Never, ever, will they need you.

So don’t dare,

Ever think they care,

They hate and despise you,

Want to drown you,

Forget you,

Erase you,

Never need you,

EVER!!!!!

"Those that dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake in the day to find that all was vanity, but the dreamers of the day, are dangerous men, for they may act out their dreams and make them real."

Poem #3

Pain like lightening cracks the soul.
All the dismal memories
Resonate in your heart like thunder.
The storm rages in your mind.
You try to conquer the world.
Yourself.
You try to conquer love
And life,
Reason and thought,
Emotion.
You want to be the master,
And this, this is why the pain, like lightening, cracks your soul.
Because you try to control too much.
Not too much in the sense that your being obnoxious,
No,
It is just a simple truth,
Too much more than you can bear.
We are all given the death sentence of mortality,
All given the seismic burden of morality,
And like the little kid,
Trying to impress their parent,
We take on too much,
And when we cannot succeed,
As we’d like to,
We punish ourselves.
We come down on ourselves like the greatest mountain, crushing the weakest man.
And still, we do not deserve this,
We deserve better than this!
If we shall all be fated to die,
Than we all deserve happiness,
And should there be thunder in our lives, it should be the greatest thunder of laughter,
Chasing away all the self - conscious doubt.

Poem #2

My heart breaks,
It bleeds,
When I need you the most,
You walk away?
You challenge me,
And anger at my acceptance?
What I say isn’t perfect,
I don’t always say it right,
And it might make the boys at Oxford choke on their crumpets,
But I bleed my heart,
And drain my soul,
Out,
Onto paper,
For you…
And everyone else that has nothing to say to me.

Poem #1

I take my glasses off so I don’t have to see the pathetic world around me,
No use in them,
Even when I'm wearing them,
I still couldn’t tell you about the man in the mirror that I see,
He blinks and his eyes go from empty and void,
To angry and inconsolable.
Is he mad like me?
Angry like I am?
Does the same sorrow weigh heavy on his heart too?
Without my glasses on, I lean in to see him.
Bags under his eyes,
Anger in them, too.
He wants the world to see him,
But no one does,
Will,
Has to.
I’m blind to the world by physical imparity,
The world is blind to him by apathy.
There is no money in him,
Nor fame or fortune.
They choose to be blind to him,
Because he holds no material advantage.
He could kill himself in the silence of the night,
And the world would wake up in the morning to march toward hedonistic apathy.
I pull away from the mirror.
The man inside it knows what I know,
And the idea, the decision,
Weighs on his mind.
Tempts him.
I start to cry and turn from him.
I want to console him but I have no words,


What do you say to the suicidal man in the mirror?